a letter for Dave

No.55, Jalan Desa Kemuning 6,

Taman Desa Kemuning, section 35, 

40470, Shah Alam, 

Selangor Darul Ehsan.

14 August 2011

Dear Dave,

       Hello Dave, how are you doing? I hope you are in a good condition. it's been a long time since we're correspond. We haven't been in contact for a while. I heard that you are under depression and you are almost succeed in suicide. Luckily your mother quickly ran to asked for help. What's wrong with you, friend? You need someone to burst out your pain. Actually, i write this letter to encourage and trying to help you going out from the depression shell. I hope you don't mind because i really want to help you from getting worst.

       Suicide is not chosen. It happens when pain exceeds. You are not a bad person or razy because you feel suicidal. It does not even mean that you really want to die. It means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either o two things which is find a way to reduce your pain or find a way to increase your coping resources. Actually, both are posibble. 

       Now i want to tell you five things to think about. First, you need to hear that people do get through this, even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a good chance that you are going to live. People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember taht relief is a pain. You will not feel the relief that you so desperately seek, if you are dead. You have to be alive!

       Next, give yourself some distance. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things. Just because you feel like killing yourself, it doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. So, say to yourself "I will wait 24 hours before i do anything". That is very encouraging me and i hope it is to you too.

       Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings because they are frightened or angry. They may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions by saying or doing thoughtless things.   You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears not about you. But there are people out there who can help you in this horrible time and will not judge you or argue with you.They will simply care you. Find one of them now. Use your time and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try to call a psychotherapist, carefully choose a friend or someone who is likely to listen.

       Don't give yourself the additional burden if trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to  where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance. You need to continue caring yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So, the various self-help groups are available in community and on internet.

       If you find someone who wants to listen, tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point. You will have increased your coping resources. Hopefully the first person chosen won't be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.

your friend,

shyie